You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
