The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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