I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
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There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
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If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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