There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
