oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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