Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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