you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize