God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
