Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
