Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
