I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
