did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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