I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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