so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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