You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
