Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
