ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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