I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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