You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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