I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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