Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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