I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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