whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
