The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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