Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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