i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
