She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
