But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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