is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
