get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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