Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
