Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
