help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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