no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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