margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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