one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
