the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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