And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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