ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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