i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.