when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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