Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
a bad idea.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me