on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!