worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
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