Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
