i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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