i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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