I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
