I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
