there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
