In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
