no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
