yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
