This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Randomize
