woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
