im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
