If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
