5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He is an equal opportunity slut.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Randomize
