i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
