I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
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I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize