He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
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You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
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I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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