so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
