Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come see our sink grown plant.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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