absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
